Notes on a Parent’s evening

I’m a teacher.  You probably gathered that by now, if you read my blog; it crops up from time to time.  Despite this, I don’t wish to come over as didactic in this post.  The following is merely some general advice to you, parents, on why and how teachers handle the annual frazzle-fest which is parent’s evening.

Firstly, if we look like death, it may be because we’ve had the honour of spending an entire day with your child, plus some worse and some better, children.  Governed as we are by bells and break duty, it is unlikely that we have had time to check our faces, or even pee.  So if I greet you with mascara down my face, a bogey on my nose, or food on my cheek, there is a reason.  Accept this as a sign that I am dedicated to my job, and try not to look on me with horror.  Chances are that whatever alien body is clinging to me as been there the entire day and has already been remarked upon by numerous teenagers as a sign that ‘Miss is gross’.

Secondly, at Parent’s Evening, do not be offended if we fail to shake your hand.  This is the one day of the year that I consciously emulate Donald Trump and avoid the casserole of hand-germs that will befall the novice teacher.  Would you rather I immediately reached for the han-i-tizer as we sit and talk, or would you rather that we got on with the matter at hand?

 

Thirdly, don’t hover in the periphery of my vision as you wait for your appointment.  It tells me a great deal about your kid if you fail to respect the privacy of your fellow attendees and I WILL HOLD IT AGAINST YOUR CHILD FOREVER.  Not really, but it is hella annoying.

 

I hope that clears a few things up.  What to do during a parent’s evening appointment is a whole other post, however.  But most teachers  will thank you if you follow the guidelines set out above and it should get you off to a good start.

There – public service announcement over and out.

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